How to take care of ageing parents, Ageing parents Care tips
Let the wrinkles be seen on their skin and not in their hearts.
My mom used to sing those lullabies and make my sleep an easy affair. The food she used to cook, mesmerizingly awesome, I still remember licking my fingers again and again. My dad, my support system in my studies, college life and in my job tensions, how quick he was in solving my problems.
I guess you must be going through a flashback at this moment. Remember the first cycle ride, the first scooter ride, the first time you banged the car into the pillar and the joy of the first salary you shared with them. The pride on their faces still must be fresh in your heart.
Through every thick and thin your parents stand by you, even till now, when you have your own family. They are your support system. But they have a limit. You too will reach that limit. A realisation is a must. It’s your time to pay back to your parents not in cash or kind but, in the form of love, respect and caring. Yes, it’s their OLD AGE. Realise it before it’s too late. They can be stubborn, obdurate, ardent, indecisive, would have endless expectation from you and the list goes on and on.
What do our parents need from us in their old age is not a rocket science to understand. You need to be patient, polite, humble, considerate and empathetic. Your behaviour will speak a thousand words to them in one go.
You and Your Ageing Parents – Ageing parents care tips
On being a senior citizen
When your parents are categorised as senior citizens, from then onwards it is mandatory for you to give them a tension free life. Let them be independent. Don’t burden them with your arrogant tantrums or with ignorance. Remember that they are under the stress of losing their youth forever. The skin colour is changing, grey hair have come and energy levels have dropped. Don’t take them for granted, just remember they are getting old. From then onwards start getting into their shoes to understand what they feel and why they react in a particular manner.
You know it by now, that loneliness kills. So make it a point not to leave them alone. Always make small efforts from your side like having at least one meal a day together as a family and tea time on holidays should be together. Let your children also learn how much you love your parents. Remember your children are watching you. Old age is a time when one feels lonely as their children are busy in their lives. Avoid making their life gloomy, doleful, depressed and dejected. Let them feel your presence in their lives.
Endearment and Reverence
When your parents enter a new phase of life after retirement, all they yearn for is love and respect, nothing else. Love is a bonding which unites us. If they have loved you unconditionally through every phase of your life, please in return love them more and more. They must have at times scolded you and many times respected your decision. Let them feel that they are being respected. It’s a blissful feeling when you see your parents happy and you are the reason behind their happiness. With old age comes amnesia, disability to hear things properly, weak eyesight, weakening of bones and list goes on and on. Just don’t make them realise what issues they have, just be with them. Your presence and love can do miracles for them as their love did for you, remember the bruise you used to get and your mom would just blow her love-filled breath over it and it would get all right. How amazing, I used to wonder, how could she do that but only till I became a parent and realised what parents are and what they can do.
Understanding their point of view
If you can understand your child’s point of view, who has just about a few years ago entered your life, I bet it’s not difficult for you to understand your parents point of view with whom you have lived for so long. Try and find out the reason behind their sorrow. Try and find out how they feel. Talk to them more often. Increase the conversation time and always make the conversation light so that they can pour out easily what they feel. The pain they have they will not tell easily fearing it will disturb you. How amazingly loving they are.
Remember this is not their age to adjust they have adjusted a lot right from the time you were born. If you can’t change your habits, how do you expect a 70-year-old person do so? Think. Remember one thing, by now they are habitual of doing certain things according to a pattern. Don’t ask them to change, rather be the change yourself. You will see as you change your parents are also adjusting with you. Their self-realisation is very much higher than yours. You take a positive initiative and rest they will do.
Love of grandchildren
Never stop your parents from loving and scolding your kids. It’s their right. When they scold your child somewhere they are preparing him/ her for the near future. Their do’s and don’ts are a boon for your kid, as you are still undergoing a process called parenting and they have given their age to it. Let them relive your childhood with your kids. Let them pamper your kid their own way. They will never harm your child, you know it.
As recreational activities are must for you and your kid so are they for your parents. Now the question is what can be done for them? Social media I guess is the best answer. Find their old friends and give them a smartphone, go for walks with them, at times watch their types of films, play carrom board with them and other in-house games with them. In short spend quality time with them. You will see that they too love being kiddish and you will be surprised to see the child in them.
Let their grandkids be lulled by them, it gives them pride
Grandparents, they love storytelling. Let this job of lullabies and storytelling be done by grandma and grandpa after a certain age of your child. Let them feel being connected with your kids. Remember each and every story they will tell will have a moral and believe me your child will be in a learning process with them. Always give them that honour of being a grandparent.
Remember being old is a pattern, not a choice
Who wants a wrinkled skin, appreciate their beauty. Make them comfortable that wrinkles are a pattern of life everyone will have it one day. A mom will always be beautiful and a dad always handsome. By making them tension free you are lessening their wrinkles. Do your job, make them feel priceless.
Grief and fear of death
Last but not the least fear of death can be frightening for anyone. Loss of a spouse can give heart wrecking pain. Be with them in hard times. Console them with good memories of the gone. Make sure your kids are easily available for them so they can overcome their loss soon. Believe me that the innocence of a child can win many hearts.
Let the old age be a blissful phase of life for them. Create a fantabulous atmosphere at home. Let your mother teach your daughter basic life lessons. Let the two become best friends. Let your father play with your son, after all, he has spent his life in the office earning for your better future and missed your funny tantrums, also missed seeing you crawl, walk and run for the first time. Give him this honour now. Be doting children to your adorable ageing parents. Let the wrinkles be seen on their skin and not in their hearts.